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Wishing Doesn’t Make It So

In your drug and alcohol use, you probably love most of us, wanted that life was different, that there were better outcomes, and that situations were in your favor instead of against you.

Wishing by definition is having a strong feeling of something happening or wanting something; it is hope and longing for something, but without a plan and work aimed at achieving an outcome.

Goals and sub-goals on the other hand, have defined actions that lead to desired results; however, it will require work on your part to achieve them.

You have the ability to plan and implement your goals and sub-goals. When you think about the time, energy and effort you put into getting and using it, you know you have the resources within you to produce results. Since these resources are internal, they are easily accessible to you at any time; you simply redirect them or refocus them on your new expected outcomes.

When you create goals and sub-goals, you identify what you hope to achieve; assess what help you may need to achieve your goals, and will likely experience a sense of accomplishment and feel pride that your efforts are paying off in better results.

Most people waste too much time not fulfilling their passions; they sit around, complaining about their lot in life, never thinking about how to get from point “A” to “B”, or when they do, get frustrated that they can’t seem to get much further.

Part of the problem is that people don’t have the will to move forward when they experience a small setback.

From dreams to doing

A man in recovery recently told me, “I’m tired of dreaming, I want to act.” When I asked him if his dreams were things he was passionate about, he said they were; he wanted to be a writer.

Later in our conversation I asked what it would take to fulfill his dream of writing. He gave me a whole list of things – publisher, literary agent, and good press reviews. We agreed that if he was a published, recognized writer, he would have those things.

I then asked him if he had any idea how the great writers like Shakespeare, Wolfe and Hemingway all started. He replied that he did not. I told him that all of them, no matter what they wrote, committed to putting pen to paper and letting her hands write down what was in her head and heart.

Then they all needed help; they gave their newest creation to someone with a critical eye to edit; making their words more accessible to the public and playing devil’s advocate with the confusing or overly long passages.

Wolf had his Maxwell Perkins, Shakespeare his Samuel Johnson, and Hemingway was lucky; his wife, Mary, was readily available.

After we talked, he made the difficulty writing. Submitting articles, accepting rejection or negative comments from some publishers, and often feeling discouraged.

In other words, he practiced and learned his craft. Today this man is a published author of a book of poetry; not the easiest genre to write. It is unlikely to get him a top slot on the New York Times bestseller list, still going to let him buy the mansion on the lake, but he is dedicated to his passion, eager to write daily, and determined to be a writer.

So, dust off those wishes and dreams now that you’re in recovery; see where your passion is, and how a systematic approach to achieve them would make your wish come true.

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