Stay At Home Mom Who Breastfeed Trying To Gain Weight Sex and the New Mom – How to Get in the Mood When You’re Not

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Sex and the New Mom – How to Get in the Mood When You’re Not

You have been awake since 5 o’clock. Feedings, diapers, laundry, meals, emails, feedings and more feedings. You flop into bed exhausted at 11 p.m., praying that your baby will sleep for five hours in a row. You look at your husband who has that little smile in his eye. “Sex now? No way! Roll over and go to sleep honey!”

It is a familiar scene for families with young children. As a mother, you are too tired for any kind of sex, let alone great sex. But you know that a physical relationship with your husband is part of a healthy marriage. You feel bad that you don’t want sex, but you’re too tired to do anything about it. So how can you rekindle your desire for intimacy, even with a new baby?

1. Put it on the back burner, but don’t forget it. Having a baby takes a lot of time, work and energy. Sex may have to take a back seat when your baby is in distress. But just like you don’t let food sit on the back burner for weeks, don’t completely forget about sex. If the time is not right for you, tell your partner that you really want to make love another time, how about on the weekend? Set a real time and stick to your commitment. Food left on the back burner will eventually go bad and the same is true about closeness in marriage if you neglect lovemaking for too long.

2. Set your mind on it. Your brain weighs just over three pounds, but it has 12 billion cells with thousands of thoughts blasting away every day. These thoughts determine what you think of yourself and what your actions will be. If you keep telling yourself, “I’m too tired to have sex” or “I don’t want my husband to see me naked,” guess what? You will act on these thoughts and avoid sex indefinitely. Why not think of yourself as a lover? Retrain your mind and paint a different picture of yourself as the woman your man dreams of. Make a point of thinking every day, “I am a sexy woman, desired by my husband. I look forward to being intimate with my spouse.”

3. Put it on the calendar. When your baby has an appointment at the doctor’s office, do you go? Of course you do. Events written in the calendar with a specific time and place are done. The same goes for love. Start by placing one special time for romance with your man in your schedule. Anticipate a great time together. You’ll be so energized and feel so close to your man that you’ll be planning your next love date right away.

Having a new baby means making adjustments in your marriage. If you make time for sex, you will see that your man is more responsive to your needs. He will do more diapers and help with baby so you can get ready for your date nights at home. Now that’s something to get you in the mood!

Today’s action step: Talk to your husband about this article, “Sex and the New Mother.” Plan a time in the next two weeks for lovemaking.

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