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Tapping Into Your Animal Instincts
Keep it simple stupid. That’s how the saying goes, but if we follow this advice and really examine our daily human interactions, you’ll realize that as intellectual as we are, as beautifully complex as we are, when it comes down to it, we really are just smart ass animals.
Our drives, urges, wants and needs trump the distractions (think careers, technology, MONEY) that are both self-imposed and placed upon us. One of my philosophies that I am liable to share after a few brews between friends is simply this; in the physical sense, weareputonthisplanetforonereasonandonereasononly–tohavesex. We are hardwired at our core to want and need it, and the majority of what we do can all come back to it.
Although Sigmund Freud is the most recognizable psychological mind ever, he catches many mistakes by some for his theories. I won’t bore you with a lecture on it, but he basically says that from birth we develop into psychosexual stages. Through these five stages we satisfy our sexual urges. To be clear, this does not mean that your baby would have a piece of “baby porn” (I worry about the Feds knocking on my door after typing that sentence alone), but that we are born with a libido , and that it manifests itself in different ways as we mature. Basically you go from having an oral fixation and manipulating attention by being cute (baby), to having kiddy on your parents due to Oedipus and Electra complexes (toddler) to having actual sexual feelings, expressed with genital consciousness and masturbation, after real relationships and having sex.
You can look at these theories and pick and choose how literally you want to take things, but the fact remains that down to our core, sex and “animalistic” drives dominate every part of our lives. We intellectualize things a lot and try to be politically correct, which is good in a sense, but in another sense I think we overread ourselves.
I recently grabbed a beer with my colleagues, and those of us who are married went into the inevitable “How did you meet?” stories. Undoubtedly, every story started with strong physical feelings (I guess you could call it lust), which happened unplanned and opened the door to getting to know that person. Many people have laundry lists of what they want in a partner (height, weight, hair color, number of degrees, salary, etc.) in their back pocket, and they go out into the world with that list and start looking for love. That’s not how it happens.
Now to be clear, I’m not saying you should hoe it and expect love to happen. I’m mostly saying that you’ll probably find love in a more animalistic, or primal way than you think, even if there’s no direct sex involved. Attraction comes first, and then you make a decision to act or not as you get to know each other. Although my ideal wife is smart, funny and attractive, her resume listing her degrees and comedy credits won’t even reach my desk if she looks like Precious. Just be real.
Well guys, this goes both ways. Pop culture tries to sell us on this PC the idea that the ideal guy cries as much as his wife, shares his feelings ad nauseum and doesn’t prioritize sex. In fact, the man of 2011 is taught that having sexual urges makes you one of “those guys” and that all his female friends and acquaintances are “good girls” who are repulsed by those kinds of thoughts or actions. This breeds a whole lot of men who can provide the pleasant feelings that women enjoy, without the carnal urges that are necessary for a healthy union between woman and man.
To be honest, the “friend zone” is nothing more than a guy who wants more but is afraid to make a move. SHE doesn’t put you in, you put yourself in it. While you’re the All-American boyfriend, she lets you be the cuddly wuddly shoulder to cry on while she gets her, ahem, needs fulfilled by the guy she inevitably ends up crying to you about. Why? Because you’ve ignored the beast in you and put yourself off by thinking you’re above those kinds of things. Because you have evolved into a new millennium man and are beyond that primitive stuff.
OK, enough of the sex talk. In times of natural disasters, when our infrastructure collapses and the distractions we’ve created disappear, you’ll notice our primal needs reach the forefront. All that matters is gathering food and water and feeding your family. I’m not talking about the NBA or NFL player who “needs” the bigger contract because “I have to feed my family.” No, I mean REALLY feed your family. Wayne said it best on one of his mixtapes a few years back: “Ain’t nobody safe when it’s for the kids fun.” I’m not advocating crime, but when the system collapses and you’re in survival mode, well, things tend to get less PC quickly.
We buy our food in neat little pretty packages at Wal-Mart, but we still buy raw, sometimes bloody meat that needs to be heated and eaten. We’ve come a long way so that instead of going out and hunting for the kill of the day, we can use our Kroger card and get gas discounts when buying the kill of the day, and eat it in our comfortable condos.
We’ve evolved (as we should), but don’t believe for a second that those traits the cavemen got through hard times aren’t still true today. When things get real in your workplace, relationship, family or ANY situation in your daily life, think about how the animal in you can trump the intelligent, well-rounded human and help you get ahead in that situation. You may be surprised.
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