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A Husband’s and Eventual Father’s Discoveries Through a Healthy Pregnancy
My wife Kate and I were married for about four years before we thought we were ready to have children. We chatted like all newlyweds about our “preparation”, and before I knew it he was showing me a little tree with a nice sign on it… OUR FAMILY!
Now the fun begins. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what I was going to do next. My theory is that having children has been around for 1000 years, so why is it so difficult? Luckily for us (including the baby) my wife is a little more like me.
The first big decision is which OBGYN to use (it seems that expectant parents often use the word “we”, but “her” seems to be the most common practice); Kate had heard good things about midwives, so we went to a Meet the Midwives night at the local hospital. We caught up after that. It means “midwife” and woman (so the midwife doesn’t have to be a woman, she just needs to focus on the needs of the women she treats). Midwives are people, friendly, good at what they do, and very knowledgeable about women and pregnancy. In fact, Kate still uses midwives to this day for her gynecological needs.
At the first meeting we attended, the medical conditions for pregnancy were compromised. Mom has to take care of herself because the baby eats all the available nutrients and leaves the rest to mom. Mom usually drinks a lot of water, increases her caloric intake (healthy calories, not cookies, cake, and ice cream), and takes vitamins (she takes women’s multivitamins , not prenatal vitamins). Kate carried a bottle of water with her everywhere – she never left home without it. Even later the midwife told him he should drink more! I saw cut up vegetables (carrots, red peppers, and green peppers are her favorites) for Kate to bring to work as a snack, and she made a lunch at home to bring to work. During pregnancy it is a good thing to gain weight; In fact, there is a second person growing in the mother who wants to grow big and strong from the second zygote.
After visits to the midwives we heard the heartbeat of the new baby! That was very exciting, but I also discovered something new. The sac (the sac that surrounds, protects, and nourishes the baby) produces a distinct and different sound from the baby’s heartbeat. During these later visits we saw Kate grow both in terms of her weight (and she always tried to wear light clothes to keep the weight down) and the measurement of her bum (from the pubic bone to the top of the uterus – the measurement increases as the baby grows). We also talked about various blood tests and genetic screenings. We rejected most of the selection tests because there was nothing that would stop us from wanting this baby. The only “optional” test we agreed on was the HIV test for Kate; if he hasn’t been tested, the baby will be tested after birth and we don’t want to put our child through that – it’s going to ruin the day!
Until now, everything has been very clear to me. I knew that Kate was pregnant and that at some point in the future I would be a father to one, but it was really hard for me to hear. But here comes the ultrasound! For those who don’t know, ultrasound is probably the best way to get pregnant. We were taken into a small room with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of machines, the lights were turned off, jelly was put on Kate’s stomach, a magic wish was waved on it, and it came out on the tv the picture of my little baby! We see a tiny beating heart and arms and legs and head and face… It’s amazing. I sat in darkness and cried.
This seems like a good time to mention the baby’s gender. You’ll notice I keep saying “the baby” because at this point we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, and that’s the way we wanted it. This is one of the most amazing things you can get in the world. And no matter what, we will find it. We found that many people were confused by this – those who wanted to buy gifts, those who were driven crazy by their desire, those who wanted to know what the name was going to be. we… Kate and I both agreed that we wouldn’t know (and we were sure to talk to the ultrasound technician because she was able to tell by now) we continued to discuss and debate which half was which. was that right… a boy or a girl? We painted the nursery neutral green, chose clothes and gender patterns, picked a girl’s name and a boy’s name, but none of us regretted our decision about invisible.
Back then, now that we’re pregnant, we decided to go with the midwives, Kate started eating better, drinking water like a fish, hearing and seeing our baby, but the A healthy pregnancy also includes childbirth. That’s where Lamaze comes in. I kind of dragged my feet on Lamaze classes (again, people have been doing this for centuries, how hard is it?), but I finally gave in. I’ll be the first to agree. going to Lamaze classes was one of the best things we did during pregnancy. In the classes we learned what to expect during childbirth, when to call the midwife, what to do to promote labor, and to reduce the pain of childbirth. Yes, we learned breathing techniques. Kate was a bit clumsy doing MISCONCEPTIONS in class, but she learned everything. The classes really eliminated a lot of the anxiety that comes later during labor and birth. Lamaze is a great way to ask silly questions in a relaxed environment and talk to other couples who are going through the same problems and know that we are not the only ones going through them.
After nine months of pregnancy, I have seen many things, but now I have to try them all. We are now ready for the end of heaven. June 26, 2004 has arrived (just arrived) and Kate is waking me up about the time. We had an appointment at 8:00 in the morning so I thought he was just having a nervous breakdown, but to humor him I took out my watch and started the time. It didn’t take long to realize that the contractions were one minute long and coming every five minutes like clockwork! Time to call the midwife.
I called the emergency room and told the midwife that my wife was in labor, but she already knew. He asked to speak to Kate, and spoke to her through dejection. He told Kate to wait until the break was about 2 to 3 minutes away and call again. So we showered, got dressed, parked the car, and started watching Mad About You shows. It’s not the kind of crazy you see on TV or in the movies – no one boiled the water, there were no towels, no one was tired, I didn’t forget Kate at the out the door…
When we got to the hospital we were shown to the delivery room and it was “nice”. The nursing staff attached a monitor to Kate’s stomach and told her to try to relax. One thing they didn’t do was hook her up with an iv – another advantage of a midwife over a traditional medical doctor. Now Lamaze training is taking place. We knew what to expect, what to expect, and what to do. Kate tried to stay on her feet instead of on her back to help with the pain, she used good breathing techniques to get through the pain, I massaged her back, and He bathes… We have agreed before each other. he doesn’t ask for pain meds at first and when he does, we wait 10 minutes to see if he still wants it. When I asked to medicate her because she was in so much pain, the midwife said to wait and see… 9cm dilated and all effaced – no time for meds now coming the baby.
The midwife allowed Kate to be wherever she wanted to push in, and then she started pushing. Now I can’t begin to imagine my wife’s pain right now, but I have to give you some advice on how to deal with the pain. You feel bad for your wife and you want to hold her hand, but DO NOT let her grab the fingers around your wedding ring because that little lady can hold her to death. when the baby comes out!
Finally the baby came out and visited us. Now – at 1:19PM, 9 months after we found out about this new life – for the first time, we found out the baby’s gender… we had the most beautiful, perfect girl I have found it. The midwife took the baby, goop and all (again goop) and placed it right side up on my wife’s chest – another perk of labor! I’m the proud dad who let me cut the umbilical cord (it’s like a plastic tube and harder to cut than I thought) after I asked and made sure my daughter didn’t get hurt little.
Before we left the delivery room I had told my wife, I still have this, that I have never been more proud of her than I was at that moment. She did everything in her pregnancy to bring this very healthy and fragile little man. And in a nutshell, here’s what this proud husband and father found out about a healthy pregnancy.
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