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Why Am I Blaming Myself When My Spouse Is The One Who Cheated?

I sometimes hear from women who struggle to place the blame for their husband’s affair. Sure, they are angry with their husbands. And they are extremely angry with the other woman. But they keep some of the anger to themselves. Because they think that the fact that their husband cheated on them means that somehow the blame must lie with them.

Here is an example of something a woman would say in this situation: “why am I not surprised that my husband cheated on me? I have been bracing myself for this whole time. I gained some weight when I had my children and my husband made it very clear that he wasn’t happy about this but I didn’t lose the weight. I kept at it and I told myself I would get around to it eventually but I never did. Then my husband told me several times told that I am too wrapped up in the children and that I never seem to have time for him. I heard what he said, but that is another thing that I thought I would address in the future. This makes me quite angry with myself. He basically told me that there were some things that made him unhappy . He gave me warning signs. But I ignored them. So now I realize that one of the people I have to blame is myself. I’m honestly angry with myself. I feel like a fat slob who has priority instead of her husband.”

Please don’t feel that way. Nobody is perfect. Nobody has the perfect marriage. No one anticipates and meets all of their spouse’s needs all the time. Well-adjusted adults don’t have these unrealistic expectations of their spouse anyway. Hasn’t your husband disappointed you at some point in the course of your marriage? Did you respond by cheating? My point is, none of us have the perfect marriage or a spouse who responds to every pleasure, but not all of us cheat.

I may be biased, but I believe that marital discord is not a legitimate reason to cheat. A person with integrity and a commitment to their marriage will continue to approach their partner with solutions to solve the problem and fix the marriage instead of just running away to follow the next person available. I say this because I want you to realize that you don’t have to hold yourself responsible for your husband’s choices.

Are your observations of your marriage valuable? Of course they are. And whether you choose to save your marriage or not, you can certainly address them. But there is a big difference between choosing to address valid points and choosing to take the blame. You are not to blame. You didn’t choose to cheat. The conditions in a marriage sometimes contribute to the atmosphere of cheating, but it is the person who cheated who made the choice. We all have stress in our lives and things we wish were different. But the choice is up to us whether we will contribute to making those things right or if we choose to tear those things down recklessly. You didn’t choose to break anything. You can choose to start making things right, but that choice should not be based on guilt because you have done nothing wrong.

I do not mean to minimize the contributions of marital problems to an affair. I do not deny that they contribute. But overall, both spouses make their fair share of mistakes. We all make mistakes. You shouldn’t beat yourself up for being a good and typical mom. I’m sure you did the best for everyone involved.

You can’t change what happened. You cannot rewrite the past. What remains to be done now is to decide where you want to go from here. You may not be able to make that decision right away. You may still need to gather information and see how you and your spouse feel moving forward. But this is your decision based on what you want. It should not be made based on your feeling that you have done something wrong. You don’t.

It is very common to feel guilty for all sorts of things. Women like everyone to be happy and they feel responsible when someone isn’t. Heck, I sometimes feel responsible when my kids or my husband have a bad experience when I had nothing to do with it. I am the person in my family who tries to handle the details and the experiences for those I love. So, when something affects my loved ones or makes them unhappy, I feel responsible (even though I know this is stupid) and I don’t think I’m alone.

But, the experiences of my children and spouse are sometimes based on random events and not a choice they (or I) made. That’s the difference. An affair is a choice. Someone else made the choice. That someone has to take responsibility. If you want to address your weight and the way you set family priorities going forward, that’s perfectly valid. But neither are valid reasons for the affair. The affair was someone else’s choice.

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