I Dont Gain Weight No Matter How Much I Eat Losing Weight and Keeping it Off

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Losing Weight and Keeping it Off

Oprah Winfrey is an admirable woman. She has done so much for so many, and is an incredible role model for millions of people. She is beautiful, successful, intelligent, caring and an inspiration to us all, which is why her ongoing struggle with her weight is so sad. She has access to the best trainers, nutritionists, coaches and chefs. She has the time and resources to research the topic, plan and work out healthy meals using the most up-to-date methods available. She has the support of dozens of people who truly care about her, yet her weight has seen her up and down throughout her adult life.

She certainly has some good insight into herself, and she has spoken honestly about the traumas of her past. However, this awareness has not helped her in her struggle with overeating. She’s gone on diets, fasts and exercise plans, but there’s one thing she hasn’t done in this quest to lose weight and keep it off. I believe there is a way for her to get off the weight ladder once and for all. In the years I have worked with women who overeat, it has become clear that dieting is a practice doomed to failure because it does not even address one of the three most important aspects of the a woman’s overeating disorder addressed. These are: obsessions about food and weight; compulsive eating behavior and a psychological attachment to weight. Let me explain:

Over-eating is driven by unconscious psychological forces that work towards a dual purpose; that of achieving emotional healing and self-nurturing. Overeating, like all addictions, stems from a drive to resolve the hurts or shortcomings of the past. It is meant to replace the love and care that is missing in childhood and to repair the emotional wounds that have occurred as a result of experiencing childhood traumas or neglect. Unfortunately, it is an ineffective method to achieve these goals.

The unconscious mind is rigid and inflexible and once it settles on a particular solution to an emotional problem, it will not let go (until the conscious mind learns a new technique). Because food was the first, and perhaps the only thing that gave her comfort and relief, the woman believes deep down that food is the only way to solve her problems. A woman starts obsessing about food because of internal confusion. Unconsciously, she is convinced that food is the solution to her emotional needs, but consciously she does not perceive it as useful.

No matter how much she eats, she doesn’t feel any more healed or full of love than she did before she started. , it will. Women who overeat also begin to obsess about their weight. Nobody wants to be pregnant, but of course, the more a woman eats, the more she gains. This creates an inner conflict between the unconscious part that is driven to eat and the conscious part that does not want to be overweight.

The woman is obsessed with the need to lose weight; about what she just ate, what she wants to eat and what she is not allowed to eat. She feels helpless, which makes her even more obsessed. It is exhausting. These obsessions consume a lot of time and energy, and can make the world of the overeater very small. When a woman’s attention is narrowly focused on food and weight, she is not pursuing the kinds of activities that can bring true happiness and that can actually heal and nurture her.

The second component of overeating is the compulsive aspect. A woman is forced to eat by a psychological survival mechanism that drives her to deal with her emotional problems. The need for love and healing is so great in the unconscious mind that the urge to eat can be overwhelming and irresistible. No matter how much she eats, however, the woman experiences no significant relief from her inner pain, nor does she find fulfillment for her unsatisfied longings. This failure further encourages the compulsive behavior, driving her to eat even more because the rigid unconscious mind is convinced that she will eventually eat enough to achieve her goals.

The last aspect of the problem with overeating and weight is the psychological attachment of a woman to the extra weight. Some women gain weight to feel “safe” in the world, believing that this physical barrier can prevent further emotional or physical injuries from occurring. A woman may also fear that she is unlovable or incompetent and will use the extra weight as a scapegoat for the potential failures in her relationships or in the workplace. She thinks to herself, “It’s not me, they don’t like it; it’s the fat.”

Women with a history of physical or sexual abuse have a stronger attachment to weight than anyone else. In these cases, the young child feels helpless in the face of the trauma. Today, as an adult, she is convinced that she needs a “buffer zone” of weight to be safe from future attacks. She will never be able to keep the weight that she might lose until she finds another way to feel safe in the world.

Of course, not every woman with an overeating or weight problem suffers from severe childhood trauma or neglect. What all overweight women seem to have in common, however, is some lack of love, attention or protection when they were growing up. Usually, the degree to which their eating is out of control is a reflection of the severity of the problems they experienced when they were little. I wouldn’t dream of speculating about Oprah’s particular food and weight issues, but when I see such an otherwise intelligent, talented and successful woman so stuck in this area of ​​her life, one thing seems clear: it appears that she doesn’t has addressed at least one of the above aspects of this problem.

A woman can lose large amounts of weight simply through the exercise of willpower. Women are very strong and resourceful, organized and disciplined. They can often succeed in achieving the health and fitness goals they set for themselves. Still, if a woman has a psychological need to be pregnant; if she has not let go of her obsessions with food or is forcefully forced to eat, it is unlikely that she will be able to lose weight and keep it off permanently. If she does, she will continue to obsess about what she eats and her body size, and she will transfer her compulsion to compulsive food restriction. I have seen these things happen too often.

So what should Oprah do? Not to be condescending, but I believe the answer is probably the same one I give to all the women I work with: deal with the three components of this problem in a meaningful way. I wrote my book, “Never Diet Again” for intelligent, capable women like Oprah; women who are successful in many areas of their lives but who are still unable to overcome their eating and weight problem. If you​​​​are one of these women, you must have tried every diet imaginable, and I will bet that every single one of them has failed.

If you’re like the overweight women I work with, you probably feel anxious about not being able to find the key that will unlock the door to your freedom. However, your frustration and despair can turn into relief and happiness because the key to solving this problem is within your reach. Through working with women who overeat, I have discovered a simple, reasonable method to conquer overeating, once and for all. Instead of using food for emotional healing, you need to face, grieve and let go of the hurt and loss of the past. Then you have to learn how to give yourself the love, nurturing and protection that you were deprived of growing up.

Oprah and women like her don’t have to keep going on diets that will never work. Instead of being stuck forever in the prison of obsessions, compulsive eating and psychological attachment to weight, you can take the key that is being offered to you right now, turn it in the lock and walk through the door to freedom.

(C) Marcia Sirota MD

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